Are you a real PROgrammer?

January 1, 2009 by Emanuele Feronato
Filed Under PROgramming • 24 Comments 

I know a lot of people saying they are programmers just because they can handle Excel formulas without (too much) hassle.

Others say they are programmers because they modified a form validator script found somewhere in the web and, hey, it worked. For almost a week.

Now I decided to write down 12 rules to determine if you are really a PROgrammer or just another wannabe

1) You are making a living with programming

I don’t want to know how much do you earn, because I know this depends a lot from the Country you live in, but if you are a PROgrammer, then PROgramming is your PROfession and you must make a living out of it.

2) You often fill your spare time programming

A PROgrammer never gets bored when programming, so you shouldn’t be surprised to find yourself testing some useless script just for the sake of doing it.

3) You often stay up to late night just to add “that feature” to your script

A real PROgrammer is never fully statisfied about his scripts, so he keeps adding new features until he’s about to fall asleep

4) You can’t sleep if your script does not work properly and you don’t know why

If a routine does not work and you can’t figure out why, then you cannot eat, you cannot go at the gym, you cannot even sleep before you know what happened

5) You have new ideas about increasing scripts performances in the strangest situations

I have such ideas at the restaurant, at the cinema, and even when I am listening to a friend of mine complaining his girlfriend is probably cheating him. It happened. Seriously. But I did not suggest him to “remove the object to free memory”.

6) You always wonder why the third letter of the alphabet has the same name as a programming language

As far as I know, who developed the alphabet did not know C, so this will probably remain a mistery.

7) Your bookshelf has a pile of books about programming

Who cares for latest Stephen King’s novel when you can read interesting books about programming? Here it is my bookshelf

8) You are really excited when comes out a new language/version

New language/version means new features, new possibilities, new challenges…

9) You are amazed when you look at a software and think about the programming behind it

This happens mostly when playing games… when I played Quake, I wasn’t amazed by the first real 3D first person shooter, but by knowing someone was skilled enough to code a real 3D engine performing enough to handle all gamind dynamics

10) You can’t bring it down you can’t program everything

I mean… wouldn’t it be perfect if you TV remote control had a little console where you can enter something like this:

1
2
3
4

if(current_channel.isBoring() && current_channel.getBetterChannels == null){
	playstation.turnOn();
	playstation.loadGame("Dead Space");
}

It would be fantastic…

11) Other PROgrammers are your idols

This is very important. If you want to be fan of famous PROgrammer, check this page and be his fan. One day or another, he will publish some exclusive content in it.

12) You did not take this list too seriously

PROgrammers are ironic. If you aren’t ironic, check your configuration file or report it to your customer service

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24 Responses to “Are you a real PROgrammer?”

  1. plin on January 1st, 2009 10:19 pm

    I just found your site recently as I am looking to learn how to write flash games. I just want to say I really enjoyed your site and the code snippets you have here.

    I do make a living of writing code and I would add a couple things:
    - Follow programming conference religiously
    - Always try to modularize everything
    - Always burning midnight oil while writing code

    Happy New Year!

  2. brindy on January 1st, 2009 10:21 pm

    Haha :) and happy new year!

    Btw, C is called C because it is based on B. Fairly logical really. :P

  3. dVyper on January 1st, 2009 10:32 pm

    I get a lot of PHP errors when I view this post in Google Reader…

  4. Daniel Rodriguez on January 1st, 2009 10:50 pm

    Love the list, and like all the books you have.
    I’m getting a lot of errors to,
    Its from the wp-syntax plugin.
    wp-content/plugins/wp-syntax/geshi/geshi.php on line 1827
    ….. Tons more :D

  5. Arxanas on January 2nd, 2009 2:23 am

    Wow…
    that is SO true!

    Everything but number 1 apply to me (12-year-olds don’t have to have a profession).

    And, C was based on B, a pared-down version of BCPL (Basic Combined Programming Language), on which C was built. After all, C does come after B!

    My “bookshelf” is actually more of a pile of unorganized books.

    My Mozilla Firefox code:
    ————————————————–
    _firefox.onDownloadFile = function () {
    if (file == *.exe) {
    file.saveFileTo(”Desktop”);
    } else {
    file.saveFileTo(”Downloads”);
    }
    }
    _firefox.onLoad = function () {
    if (!realPlayerPlugin.working) {
    _windows.uninstall(”Mozilla Firefox 3″);
    _windows.install(”Mozilla Firefox 2″);
    if (_firefox.version == 2) {
    trace(”Version changed to 2″);
    } else {
    trace(”Version not changed!”);
    }
    }
    if (_firefox.homepage != “emanueleferonato.com”) {
    _firefox.homepage = “emanueleferonato.com”;
    }
    }
    ————————————————–

  6. Michael J Williams on January 2nd, 2009 3:34 am

    Haha, very funny! “remove the object to free memory” cracked me up

    I always wondered what exactly you meant by PROgrammer, now I guess I know.

  7. virtualtoy on January 2nd, 2009 3:51 am

    Most of these points don’t make you PROgrammer, and even “programmer”

  8. Shival on January 2nd, 2009 7:00 am

    Good post!
    You got a great sense of humour…

  9. gtg236s on January 2nd, 2009 8:59 am

    You’re a true programmer if you start lists at zero :)

  10. Nathan on January 2nd, 2009 5:59 pm

    Ha! That’s true, you should start them at zero!

    There are a lot of php errors in google reader, any explanation for that PROgrammer? :)

  11. Egil on January 2nd, 2009 7:43 pm

    if(current_channel.isBoring() && current_channel.getBetterChannels == null){
    playstation.turnOn();
    playstation.loadGame(”Dead Space”);
    }

    Just a little note, this would give a compile error since current_channel.getBetterChannels appears to be a normal get method, but the () is missing.

  12. Michael on January 3rd, 2009 5:15 am

    Beautiful list. I too believe I can apply everything but #1, since I’m still in high school, and my real job is at a computer shop where I fix more computers than I program, lol.

    “remove the object to free memory” – epic lawl.

    @Nathan
    Pure genius, great catch! *cries in laughter of agreement*

  13. Michael on January 3rd, 2009 5:17 am

    *Sorry, meant to put that shout-out to gtg236s; Nathan was just the last one I remember scrolling by mentioning that joke, lol.

  14. LuizZak on January 3rd, 2009 7:25 pm

    Dang I think I’m getting old, I apply to the entire list.

    The “remove the object to free memory” part make me laugh for the first time today :)

  15. Abhilash on January 4th, 2009 7:09 pm

    well…looking @ ur list i don’t think i fit in the category of programmers becoz i don’t make a living right now out of programming(actually i don’t make a living :) and i don’t stay up late at night to add a feature to my script(becoz my mom wouldn’t allow me to sit in front of my PC late night:) but i still fill my spare time programming

  16. Astro75 on January 5th, 2009 11:40 am

    Yay I’m a PrOgramer

  17. Awoke on January 7th, 2009 11:40 pm

    hum, I think this list is too extreme, you must be SUPER GEEK. :p

  18. tonypee on January 8th, 2009 6:03 am

    … or you mustn’t be a PROgrammer :P

  19. Adam on January 8th, 2009 3:33 pm

    umm, real programmers don’t write ’scripts’ they write ‘code’ :)

  20. Skofo on January 10th, 2009 2:58 am

    Hahaha, a lot of these are simply not true. Stop acting like you’re the God of programming, because that isn’t true either. =P

    Also, it’s annoying how you capitalize the “pro” in programmer.

  21. Ruslan on January 10th, 2009 10:39 pm

    I strongly agree with punkt 4 .

    I passed 10 out of 12

    I didn’t passed 6th and 11th , Please write What’s wrong with me ? :)

    If you aren’t ironic, check your configuration file or report it to your customer service

    :)))

  22. mh on January 13th, 2009 12:00 pm

    Hey be careful of number 2! When its a job and youve been doing it for a while then you need to make sure you find time for relationships, trees, fresh air etc.
    So that means i must be an amateur!!! ;)

  23. Jeff on January 16th, 2009 11:03 am

    Yeah! I got the exactly what i an doing now…

  24. Asif on March 29th, 2009 2:58 pm

    A real programmer is the one who starts the coding, and most of the time probably dont have the idea how to develop and code the logic to solve the riddle in hand, BUT he knows he can do it…………. And in the end, he does it…. Just another regular day….

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